69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
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