He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Randomize
