I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
It's shark week go big or go home
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
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