I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
