We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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