i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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