I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
is that a dick in a sweater?
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Randomize
