I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
