You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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