I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
