My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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