Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
