i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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