It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
