I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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