Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
