Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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