I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
