did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
