i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
