He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
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