he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I deserve to be covered in dicks
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
