I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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