i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Randomize
