her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
