you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
