it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
not ubering you a puppy
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
