so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
