We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
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