Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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