you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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