Define "chronic" masturbator.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Randomize
