Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
did i walk over a car last night?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
