You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
