she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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