i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
