my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
