Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
