Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
