I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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