If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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