I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize
