how can u be prego again
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
