How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
This is the high leading the old right now
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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