is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
