you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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