I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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