I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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