with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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