That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
