you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
You are the jesus of drinking
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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