Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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