If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
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